Thursday, December 29, 2005

I Feel Happy! I'm Getting Better

MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER: Here's one
MORTICIAN: Ninepence.
SOLA-MAN: I'm not dead!
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
SOLA-MAN: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
SOLA-MAN: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
SOLA-MAN: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
SOLA-MAN: I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
SOLA-MAN: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
SOLA-MAN: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you can do?
SOLA-MAN: I feel happy... I feel happy.
[whop] Mortician hits Sola-man over the head.
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.

That bit, obviously borrowed from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, pretty much sums up how I spent my Christmas vacation. Like every other God-fearing man in America I put off too much of my Christmas shopping until the last minute. What can I say...I work better under pressure. Christmas Eve I made the annual trek to the Motherland (the land on which my mother lives). Unfortunately, I was at the beginning of an nasty illness which pretty much made me incapable of doing anything except sipping hot liquids and clicking the TV remote (another American male activity that can only be halted by paralysis or death). Since I am of hearty Scandinavian stock, I stoically put off seeking medical aid, my mom made me. Actually I think she was looking forward making to the 40 mile road trip. Fortunately, I didn't have anything life threatening, but I did get some pretty cool medications. No, I'm not sharing. I finally made it back to the Big Cities mid-afternoon today and went immediately to the office. I admit that I'm a workaholic, but it pays better than washing dishes and vacuuming. Well, I finally made time to blog but I'm too dang tired so this is all you're getting today. Good night and God bless.

Merry Belated Christmas
and Happy New Year!